Friday, April 25, 2008

Sex & Relationships Q&A: Help Me Open "My Back Door"

Dear Razzi,

I'm 29 years old and my jumpoff of 3 years is always pressuring me to start having anal sex. The sex is always great between us and Im real freaky so I definetly want to try it. The problem is he's huge and every time we try, it hurts so bad that I make him stop. I don't even let him get the head in before I'm screaming bloody murder. I also had a bad experience once where I asked a guy for rough sex and ended up having to get stitches from "the rooter-to-the-tooter" if you know what I mean. So needless to say I'm still a little traumatized and scared to explore in that region. Please, if you have any tips on how to make this process smooth and less painful I would appreciate it!!!!

~Anal in LA

Dear Anal in LA,

Thank you for your question. This is one that alot of women are curious about but don't want to ask b/c it seems so freaky!!!! Now, I'm a bit hesitant to give you this advice because you said your j/o is a bit on the "huge" side but it's to your discretion if you want to "open that door"!!!! (pun intended!!!).

The first thing to do is have a conversation with your partner. Definitely talk about this FIRST and don't just jump right into it or you may be left in a little bit of pain.If this is something you and your partner decide that you are ready to do the VERY FIRST thing you need to do, at least 30 minutes before your "session" is an anal douche!!!! It sounds nasty but this was something that one of my gay male friends advised. Do it like you would a regular douche (only don't stick the tube thing all the way in). You may want to get all of your "poo" out the normal way first and then get the leftover out with the douche. This may sound nasty but what's even worse is "skid marks" or "the smell" if you opt not to do this!!!!!! Now that we have covered this VERY IMPORTANT item, let's move on........

The best thing to do is go ahead and get things going the normal way. Next, you will want to lay doggy style with a deep arch in your back. Since this is your first time, a lubricant will be needed to help ease the pain. Try "Anal Ease", which can be found at your local Adult Toy Store. Once that is applied, you can begin the process- yes it is a process. The man needs to very slowly begin to "enter". While he is doing this, you need to "push out" (as if you are trying to have a bowel). This makes things a bit easier and less painful. If you don't "push out", you may accidentally squeeze in and constrict your anus and this will most likely be very painful. It may take a few tries but once "in", he still needs to slow stroke and gradually increase the speed as it becomes more comfortable for you.

I would only suggest to do this on special occassions. You wouldn't want your booty to get loose!!!! LOL!!!!! And also, depending on your body, afterwards you either may not have a bowel movement for a day or two or, when you do have a bowel, you may have to fly to the bathroom because things may still be a bit loose!!!!!! Don't forget, you can always google "how to have anal" and a list of all kinds of guides will come up to help teach you the correct way!!!!!! And, most importantly, if you feel any pain or discomfort during the process, don't be afraid to ask him to stop.

If you have a sex and/ or relationship question you would like to have answered, email me at Next up, "Just Friends Forever?!?!"

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